Have you ever ...

... been so tired your eyelids hurt? That's me today ... got the deadass but no time for the deadass ...

Oh well, I have plenty to be thankful for so I should just shut the hell up with my complaining.

I have this student ... I'll call her "A" ... who forces me to use every incidental learning and teaching experience I have learned through 5 years of undergrad, 2 years of grad school, and 4 years of teaching. She wears me out just lookin' at her ... she's probably in her mid 50's, African-American, looks like an unmade bed (at least her hair), and spends more time complaining about how hard her classes (all two of them) are than she does actually doing the work. I am her cheerleader, her mentor, and her foster parent. I have to praise her constantly, lecture her daily, and tell her in a million different ways how far she's come in such a short time. She ... is more than a handful. But ya know what ... she makes me feel like the educator I claim to be. For some reason, I seem to be the only one on the entire campus who can solve her problems. They're never HUGE problems, but she insists that I help her. I'm still not sure I like this position she has me in ... it can get pretty scary up there on the pedestal ... but it is certainly one in which I cannot refuse. She ... is why I work for TRIO. She is underserved, underrepresented, and unrelenting in her quest to educate herself. She demands more than I have ... yet she motivates me to give even more than she expects.

"A" is why I teach.

Now I'm going home ... to screams of "Mommy's home!" from Eli, Hannah coming to me showing me her latest art work, and Ron on the phone with a sub-contractor ... and I am probably too tired for any of that ... but like my job with "A," ... I can't let 'em see me sweat.

I am tired ... but I'd rather be tired than not to be needed.

J